So here we are, nearly half-way through the first month of the new year. If you’re like me, New Year’s resolutions don’t really work for you. I stopped making them years ago.
But last year I found something different.
Danielle LaPorte put out this book called The Desire Map and that was a game changer. Now before you tune out and go off thinking “Oh, God! Not another self-help guru’s sheep spouting the wisdom of said chosen guru.” Take a moment to think about this.
What if you stopped thinking about your life in terms of goals, and instead, focused on how you want to feel? Seriously. All those things that you want to do or get done, lose weight, find the right someone, write that book, are all intended to make you feel a certain, desired way anyhow. What if you focused on those feelings and the things you could do on a daily basis to support them?
But I digress, this post is not about the book, the system, the day planner, the cards, the book groups, or the facilitators springing up around the world. The D-Movement (I just made that up myself).
This post is about how focusing on how you want to feel; a subtle shift that changes everything. Including what you thought were your goals. It changes the way you think about everything.
So here’s my case in point. I am not one for routine. I find it to be mindnumbingly boring…a creativity and momentum killer…basically a big downer. However, the practical, hardworking Capricorn part of me knows that routines and schedules are necessary to success, which also means I have a very difficult time putting down a task that is unfinished just because the time to work on said task is up and I must move on to the next. I was having trouble coming up with a way to be more comfortable with routine and schedules. Does this sound immature? It doesn’t matter, it’s the way I feel and I am plenty mature enough to acknowledge my faults and deal with them or work around them <sticks tongue out and makes face>. Also, I have a physiological challenge that cause me to become foggy or unable to focus for anywhere from an hour to days.
I went to the go-to Desire Map group on facebook.com to help me brainstorm an answer because I’ll take a little help from wherever I can get it, I’m exploitative like that. I got a lot of really great answers from going with the flow to wonderful mantras, to-do lists, thinking of it as taking control, and doing what feels good. The coolest thing was that everyone shared what they felt in their heart might help me. No one, single person posted anything like “just suck it up and do it, you pansy!.” That in itself was immensely impressive to me because, you know, there’s always one in every group.
So, my fair readers and DMapers, without further ado, here’s what I came up with. It resonated with my entire being and at the same time struck me as a gigantic, DOH!
I found the secret to submitting to a routine and scheduled tasks was…
drum roll please…<apple drops on noggin>
What?! I know, right!!!
Here’s the thing, all those “routine” tasks that I think are so boring and ask myself “why do I have to do this?” about, are only nurturing me. Dishes, laundry, housework, only gives back to me (mainly because we are empty-nesters now and there are no kids here anymore to suck up the benefits of my labors. Love ya kids! Mwah!). Scheduling writing time, exercise time, and meditation time only gives back to me, sometimes many-fold more that I put into it. So before you think that I might need a maid and an assistant – I know these things are beneficial and nurturing to me because of the way I f-e-e-l after I have done them. Clean, proud, accomplished, happy, content, and generally good.
So, when I perform my routine, when I schedule these things that are important to me, but may or may not want to do at that time, I am taking care of me, nurturing myself, taking time to love me. In turn, nurturing myself allows me to be more nurturing to others and that’s what it’s really all about.
If you want to know more about Desire Mapping and the great things you can do with it, Check out Danielle LaPorte’s website at DanielleLaporte.com if you find you’re fired up about it, join our group on facebook.com. Happy New Year! May your best and greatest destiny be yours!
As always…feel free to discuss below.